Hello, my friends... I have been meaning to post something here for a few weeks now, but we don't have the net at our house so its hard to find the time! Enough excuses though, here goes!

Lew and I have been doing so well. God is so good, and so faithful. We've been busy working since the wedding... our jobs were so obviously His provision... it was crazy how it worked out! Lew is laying paving stone driveway, patios, stuff like that (its starting to slow down now, unfortunately, please pray!!) and I'm an admin assistant at a tax-prep/financial advisor's office. I get to dress up for work. Its fun :) And I am really loving it! The responsibility my boss has given me has just been such an encouragement and challenge. Basically I'm in charge of keeping him organized, making sure clients get contacted regularly, and come tax time I will be the main girl taking care of all things tax (besides actually doing them!)... Its a really good place for me to be right now.

On a slightly different note, I thought I would let you guys know that Lewis is applying for the RCMP! We submitted his application package a couple of days ago, and now we wait... for probably close to six months while they do background checks, interviews, etc, etc... its a very long process. I am so proud of him, and so excited, if he gets accepted, to see him in a profession where he can just help people. That's all he wants... which I admire him so much for. So, if all goes well, he will jet off to Regina for six months for training, and I will have to find something to do with myself to keep from missing him too much! The thought has crossed my mind... Bcrest? Who knows. And, that being said, in about a year we could very well end up in a community near you :) We will see what God has in store. But nothing is for sure yet.

Speaking of school, I have been taking a couple part-time courses at the university here... a poetry class and first year psychology. It was a rough start for me, to jump back into school mindset, especially since the last school I remember (kaleo) was so solidly biblical, and I have had to learn how to think critically again (not that I didn't before... its just a very different kind of critique)! It has been really tough, but my faith is being refined into something more sincere, or at least I hope so. I think that it is.

...
I've actually been struggling quite a bit, with my faith. This is where I am at... life is beautiful, it really is, but its been hard to reconcile my faith with what I see the church being, and what the people on the outside see when they look at it. I think the best way to sum things up is, now that I've thought about this a lot and had a lot of dark days where my husband didn't know what to do with me... I don't find myself questioning the God who wants to turn the world upside-down with His kingdom coming, the God who dwells among the poor and is with me even when I am in the midst of those dark days, the God who is HUGE and LOVES hugely... I doubt the God who has turned into a token, a small God who is associated with ideas, politics, north american culture... I hope this makes sense. So, with all of these things running around in my head, when I'm reading the Bible, I find myself questioning things a lot, thinking, okay, where did this idea, this doctrine, this interpretation come from? Its been the weirdest thing... but such a testimony to God's grace... even though I've been questioning the things that I read so much, its like at the same time I am SO DESPERATE to drink from it... its crazy that it gives life even when I'm preoccupied with dissecting it! And perhaps the hardest part in all of this is that I've felt like I can't really share this with anyone, for fear of exposing myself... but I've had a couple of really good talks with people who have, in short, told me that its okay to question things, to not be ashamed of where I'm at. And that has freed me up to lean in to Jesus in all of this.... and begin to be captured by His teaching and the story of His life (Sheri and I are doing a really incredible study right now by Beth Moore, all about the life of Jesus... couldn't have come at a better time).

So that is where I am, my friends. I love you all so much. If any of you are ever wanting to come visit, we have a spare room and I would love to cook and bake for you :o)

Ellanora the Brave

So I was at the 7/11 and saw this and thought all of you would enjoy it.



Edit: copied the wrong link, oops. now you can enjoy it

Journey?

man, been so long since i've talked personally to a lot of you, crazy.

think these updates are crucial and for us to have started something together, think its cool to continue sharing our journeys and struggles and also rejoicing when He delivers us.
so i put a question mark after journey because lately it's felt out of control and been kind of scary at time wondering where i was heading in my faith.
still going to school in toronto and really really loving the city. lol, possibly a little more then caronport, it would never compare to the commnity at the crest, but as far as location and opportunities, the city is amazing. and its just so cool, so many different people, ethnicities, man its sweet.
theres this church called "sanctuary", i actually read a book by the author on the way to kaleo a long time ago and was in tears almost on the plane and never thought id have the opportunity to experience the ministry. so it's been so sweet having dinner there thursday night and then going out with some friends and hanging out with them. its really incredible, and i may go as far as to say, neccessary for us, especially growing up in the luxury i did. it's made me question so much of what i consume and how i live my life. its cool.

um in that though, dang, reading the bible has never messed me up so much. there are some great passages in there, and i do believe it all works towards one story still, but im really struggling to put stuff together. like when luke writes his "woes", dang..how do i read that. in one of my classes called preaching, we have to, well, preach a few times and we had our passages assigned which is good except when you get a passage when Paul just talks of the significance and necessity of suffering for the gospel. and it's good..if i can say that, in the long run im sure, but its been pretty heavy trying to wrestle with the reality that i dont suffer for the gospel. i don't get persecuted. i go to school with christians. i may get persecuted for my eschatological view, but nothing in regards to who i serve. and so i actually listened to a speaker say that, that was a problem, not being persecuted by at least one person who hates me because of the gospel. dang. and so if someone was to come up to me right now and say ar eyou a christian, well, i dont no. do i believe in Jesus, that He's Lord. ya most definitely, do I believe only through Him can you be saved and live eternally in the new earth, for sure, do I believe we are to pursue holiness because He is holy, ya, but do i live a life like Paul? Do people hate me like they hated him? Didn't Jesus say they would hate me? If that's following Christ, is this the definition of being a christian...i dont no.

Anyways, these are my thoughts and struggles and it's just this point where I feel I'm standing before a really really big mountain and its kind of scary to think I could turn around and walk back. But He has to be worth it. I do believe this is being refined and would love your prayers. can't wait to see those who i get to be at school with next semester and can't wait to see those who live close to the crest soon.

I really would love to hear your guys thoughts and your journeys. can't tell you how amazing and uplifiting it has been to come on here and read stuff like downeys post or steves post or other posts that just are like, dripping with joy, writing about that joy does allow for us to rejoice and be joyful, so ya thanks for those.

on a side note, tomorrow afternoon im heading to the city to play a game of "red butt" at an this old elementary school in this old area of toronto. pretty sweet.

"In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while if necessary you have been distressed by various trials, knowing that your faith, being more precious then gold, which is perishable even though refined by fire, wil be found to result in honor, glory, and praise at the revelation of Jesus Christ."
1 peter 1

love you all. lots.
jon