Journey?

man, been so long since i've talked personally to a lot of you, crazy.

think these updates are crucial and for us to have started something together, think its cool to continue sharing our journeys and struggles and also rejoicing when He delivers us.
so i put a question mark after journey because lately it's felt out of control and been kind of scary at time wondering where i was heading in my faith.
still going to school in toronto and really really loving the city. lol, possibly a little more then caronport, it would never compare to the commnity at the crest, but as far as location and opportunities, the city is amazing. and its just so cool, so many different people, ethnicities, man its sweet.
theres this church called "sanctuary", i actually read a book by the author on the way to kaleo a long time ago and was in tears almost on the plane and never thought id have the opportunity to experience the ministry. so it's been so sweet having dinner there thursday night and then going out with some friends and hanging out with them. its really incredible, and i may go as far as to say, neccessary for us, especially growing up in the luxury i did. it's made me question so much of what i consume and how i live my life. its cool.

um in that though, dang, reading the bible has never messed me up so much. there are some great passages in there, and i do believe it all works towards one story still, but im really struggling to put stuff together. like when luke writes his "woes", dang..how do i read that. in one of my classes called preaching, we have to, well, preach a few times and we had our passages assigned which is good except when you get a passage when Paul just talks of the significance and necessity of suffering for the gospel. and it's good..if i can say that, in the long run im sure, but its been pretty heavy trying to wrestle with the reality that i dont suffer for the gospel. i don't get persecuted. i go to school with christians. i may get persecuted for my eschatological view, but nothing in regards to who i serve. and so i actually listened to a speaker say that, that was a problem, not being persecuted by at least one person who hates me because of the gospel. dang. and so if someone was to come up to me right now and say ar eyou a christian, well, i dont no. do i believe in Jesus, that He's Lord. ya most definitely, do I believe only through Him can you be saved and live eternally in the new earth, for sure, do I believe we are to pursue holiness because He is holy, ya, but do i live a life like Paul? Do people hate me like they hated him? Didn't Jesus say they would hate me? If that's following Christ, is this the definition of being a christian...i dont no.

Anyways, these are my thoughts and struggles and it's just this point where I feel I'm standing before a really really big mountain and its kind of scary to think I could turn around and walk back. But He has to be worth it. I do believe this is being refined and would love your prayers. can't wait to see those who i get to be at school with next semester and can't wait to see those who live close to the crest soon.

I really would love to hear your guys thoughts and your journeys. can't tell you how amazing and uplifiting it has been to come on here and read stuff like downeys post or steves post or other posts that just are like, dripping with joy, writing about that joy does allow for us to rejoice and be joyful, so ya thanks for those.

on a side note, tomorrow afternoon im heading to the city to play a game of "red butt" at an this old elementary school in this old area of toronto. pretty sweet.

"In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while if necessary you have been distressed by various trials, knowing that your faith, being more precious then gold, which is perishable even though refined by fire, wil be found to result in honor, glory, and praise at the revelation of Jesus Christ."
1 peter 1

love you all. lots.
jon