Update (such a bland title)

Hey everybody! It’s Ellie. (thought it was so clever of Joel to do this in his post J

It’s been a long time, friends. I miss you.

I’ve been blessed this last week to be able to reconnect with Jim, Sarah, Sheri, Amanda and even Jordan today and it’s got me thinking about you guys! And also inspired to write an update.

I think the last time I wrote was right after I lost my dad over two years ago. I’ve since attempted to write a couple of times, but have never made it as far as posting anything.

Grieving is a painful journey. I never knew I could miss someone so desperately. The pain gets less sharp and raw as time goes on, but it never really goes away. I’ve had to walk through forgiving him for choosing to leave us, the daily handing over of my broken heart to my heavenly Father, learning that I am His daughter and that He will never leave me. These have been lessons I never thought I would have to learn this way, the hard way. I’ve had to choose hope and not give in to the darkness (and it has been dark).

Lewis has been amazing. You know, sometimes it is so crazy to look back and see how life unfolds, and how circumstances that didn’t really make sense at the time end up making total sense. I think God likes to reveal Himself to us so often in hindsight. It didn’t make sense to a lot of people why Lew and I got married so young, but now I think it is beautifully obvious why God provided us with one another before all of this happened. I love him so much and am so proud to be his wife.

God also provided me with another incredible and intriguing twist in my story a few months after dad died. Our church had been in the early stages of birthing a ministry for kids actually on our local First Nations reservation – one of the nastiest and darkest areas of it in fact. Lewis and I were asked by our pastor if we would commit to being a part of it since they really needed people. We essentially pulled up into the park area (it wasn’t really much of a park at all, mostly destroyed by gangs) with a big trailer and put on puppet shows and played with kids. I really hated it at first actually! It wasn’t my cup of tea at all. But… backtracking a little now… God had me involved in some work scenarios leading up to this time where I had worked for the first time really, with special needs kids, and I discovered that I LOVE KIDS!! It was so cool to be able to explore my gifts and learn about myself as God grew a love for them in my heart. Along with just loving kids, I was also developing a significant passion for kids that are at-risk, special needs, developmentally delayed, etc. Basically God took me on a journey of showing me the heart that He was growing in me, and then placed me smack dab in the middle of a ministry where this fit perfectly (some of you might know that the history of First Nations in Canada with Residential Schools has caused them to be trapped in cycles of poverty, addictions, dysfunctional families, deep relational brokenness, and this often causes their young people to fall into gang activity, prostitution, depression & suicide, dropping out of school, struggles with learning disabilities like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, etc… if you don’t know about this, look it up! It is happening right in our backyard and the church should care). AND THEN a couple of months later, the director of the ministry stepped down and my church offered me the job.

I’ve been on staff now for a year and a half, and feel like I am right where I’m supposed to be. Some days are really hard, I think I thought ministry would be easier for some reason. But God is so totally forming me and transforming me. And this ministry in particular has been so significant for me – it has given me a place to practice reaching out and loving many people (lots of little people especially) with whom I share the same journey of loss. It has been grace to me.

So, God has been so faithful – and I don’t say that lightly. I never thought I would end up having my own ‘Jesus is enough’ story… and I’m still learning this. I miss you guys so much, and am so thankful for our time together 5(?) years ago now.

Lewis and I have been blessed to buy a house in our old stomping grounds of Crofton… we have a spare room so if any of you are ever passing through, we’d love to have you.

Love each of you very much and think about you often,

Ellanora the Brave J