Hello, my friends... I have been meaning to post something here for a few weeks now, but we don't have the net at our house so its hard to find the time! Enough excuses though, here goes!

Lew and I have been doing so well. God is so good, and so faithful. We've been busy working since the wedding... our jobs were so obviously His provision... it was crazy how it worked out! Lew is laying paving stone driveway, patios, stuff like that (its starting to slow down now, unfortunately, please pray!!) and I'm an admin assistant at a tax-prep/financial advisor's office. I get to dress up for work. Its fun :) And I am really loving it! The responsibility my boss has given me has just been such an encouragement and challenge. Basically I'm in charge of keeping him organized, making sure clients get contacted regularly, and come tax time I will be the main girl taking care of all things tax (besides actually doing them!)... Its a really good place for me to be right now.

On a slightly different note, I thought I would let you guys know that Lewis is applying for the RCMP! We submitted his application package a couple of days ago, and now we wait... for probably close to six months while they do background checks, interviews, etc, etc... its a very long process. I am so proud of him, and so excited, if he gets accepted, to see him in a profession where he can just help people. That's all he wants... which I admire him so much for. So, if all goes well, he will jet off to Regina for six months for training, and I will have to find something to do with myself to keep from missing him too much! The thought has crossed my mind... Bcrest? Who knows. And, that being said, in about a year we could very well end up in a community near you :) We will see what God has in store. But nothing is for sure yet.

Speaking of school, I have been taking a couple part-time courses at the university here... a poetry class and first year psychology. It was a rough start for me, to jump back into school mindset, especially since the last school I remember (kaleo) was so solidly biblical, and I have had to learn how to think critically again (not that I didn't before... its just a very different kind of critique)! It has been really tough, but my faith is being refined into something more sincere, or at least I hope so. I think that it is.

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I've actually been struggling quite a bit, with my faith. This is where I am at... life is beautiful, it really is, but its been hard to reconcile my faith with what I see the church being, and what the people on the outside see when they look at it. I think the best way to sum things up is, now that I've thought about this a lot and had a lot of dark days where my husband didn't know what to do with me... I don't find myself questioning the God who wants to turn the world upside-down with His kingdom coming, the God who dwells among the poor and is with me even when I am in the midst of those dark days, the God who is HUGE and LOVES hugely... I doubt the God who has turned into a token, a small God who is associated with ideas, politics, north american culture... I hope this makes sense. So, with all of these things running around in my head, when I'm reading the Bible, I find myself questioning things a lot, thinking, okay, where did this idea, this doctrine, this interpretation come from? Its been the weirdest thing... but such a testimony to God's grace... even though I've been questioning the things that I read so much, its like at the same time I am SO DESPERATE to drink from it... its crazy that it gives life even when I'm preoccupied with dissecting it! And perhaps the hardest part in all of this is that I've felt like I can't really share this with anyone, for fear of exposing myself... but I've had a couple of really good talks with people who have, in short, told me that its okay to question things, to not be ashamed of where I'm at. And that has freed me up to lean in to Jesus in all of this.... and begin to be captured by His teaching and the story of His life (Sheri and I are doing a really incredible study right now by Beth Moore, all about the life of Jesus... couldn't have come at a better time).

So that is where I am, my friends. I love you all so much. If any of you are ever wanting to come visit, we have a spare room and I would love to cook and bake for you :o)

Ellanora the Brave