Stink Bug!

SO the title is meaning less ... sting bugs are just cool!.. I guess its kinda fitting in a way, Only Sheri and Kels and Kins would fully understand.

I'm trying to think of how to start, There are many ways.. One is Its been for ever and I'm trying to think of how to sum up all that has gone on in life, my brain, and My heart over this last .. For ever. lol

4 months ago i moved to camp and took on a leadership position that was perfect for me, Events Assistant (allstar), I had no idea what how God was going to use this position to grow me as a leader. During Advanced crew Jordan, who was to be my partner in crime took on a different position. So the Allstar Leaders were just Steve and I. I don't think it truly hit me on how much i would be stretched until the first day of camp. Every thing was planed it was just a matter of pulling it all off. Also well stepping in to this leadership position i also took another big step at the same time... A relationship. God gave me a Gift.. his name was/is Devon Dupont. I prayed about it ALOT and felt a lot of peace. God Used him to show me lots of things that I needed to work on in my life. He showed me that Yes relationships are not all like my last one. I realized how scared I was of letting him in. It was a Huge step of faith... because i was terrified!... In this relationship I saw how week i am still and how easy it would be for me to fall in to the person i was before and the in to the sin that ruled my life. I also realised how strong i was and am, now i stand firm on the Rock that is My Jesus, and I'm able to turn from such thing and run straight in to my fathers arms. My life is not easier, i would say harder.. But i hold in my heart Joy and Hope in days to come, This is Gods gift to me witch make all trials and temptations bearable. At the beginning of the summer i prayed against distraction knowing why I was at camp and not wanting Devon to distract me from my heart fully being in my call to serve my Jesus at camp.
My position taught me how to organise my self, my thought, and other people. God giving me responsibility and the fact that i need to be an example has stretched my heart by learning through trial and error. I feel like a all of the knowledge that god gave me over the past 2 years about leading through observing various people along the way I finally got to put to test. Over the summer I have been learning a lot about discipleship and how we are called to disciple by the example of our lives, So now i am learning to LIVE!
Half way through the summer I took my 3 days off and went home with Dev, Then the peace i had about our relationship was gone. I was confused, I didn't understand... I still don't.. I wanted to merry this dude, we fit so well together. But the thought of being disobedient again scared me and made me feel sick and the only thing to do was something that sucked and hurt.
God gave me a vision of my life. There is me in a dark place, but if i looked over my shoulder i could see all of these stones on witch i have stepped on. these stones were light up. A soft voice from the darkness kept telling me to take a step.. 'But i cant see where I'm going to step'... Michelle just do it... 'But what if i fall'... Trust me....'ok'. So i took a step, I still feel in the dark mostly, i still don't understand, if this was not a bad thing then why do i need to give it up. But. Through words that he gave Steve He confirmed that this was a good thing and in order for me to serve him fully giving up something that was so good and pure was necessary.

SO now the summer is over, and i miss it deeply. But i know that Port McNeil is where I am to be. Gods plans for my life here are still in the dark. He has changed the way I live, the way I lead, My Few on relationships, and i feel He has equipped me for something big (witch scares me...A Lot) I have been praying for opportunity here every day, and for the past 3 days he has been faithful on helping me see them. I went to the school to let them know my desire to coach.. Volleyball or soccer. They just called today about meeting with the girls tomorrow at noon. So that sweet. I have Gotten to do some follow up with some girls that attended camp this summer witch is SO RAD! and I'm starting to pick up some relationships where they left of since moving away. as for now I'm board.. I know the ball has started rolling, But i feel like i have much time to sit.. witch after camp is a weird thing to do. But i know i need to take advantage of this time to rest and reflect.
I pray For much change in this place, and when needed the Lord will place me and my home on your heart in times when prayer is much needed.

I'm sorry this is long, But i could not skip anything. I thank you all for your words of encouragement, and sharing your lives with me on this wonderful blog.
I think of all of you often and Smile, knowing that You are where God has called you and your lives are wonderful examples to every one around you.
Lots of love

Michelle

I just want you all to know that I love Spell Check!!!!.. if i did not have spell check i'm sure that non of you would understand what I'm trying to say.. I'm sure there are words in there that are not the right ones.. But they have not come out with a grammar check yet.. I hope they do soon!!