update from my barnacle island
my family... oh, my family... i miss you all a lot. Some of you know that a few of us met up for a Starfield concert in Vic on Thursday night... what a blessing that was, to see a few of you again. I'm not sure if the fact that I go a few days without being sad and then all of a sudden collapse in tears is my insensitivity or if its just my way of coping. It is hard to be apart from you guys, especially since I don't have a lot of people to reconnect with here... Lew has been super busy with school and work and anticipating news from the camp about his possible position this summer, and since you guys and him have been about the only people i talk to about whats going on in my heart and head... i feel kind of alone. There have been many times where I've just desperately wanted to crawl back into the Kaleo bubble. But it is not time for that right now. And, I am working through it... trying to pray through it...
I really covet your prayers right now when it comes to discernment and faithfulness. I was thinking yesterday, how you know, we all had struggles and temptations that were waiting for us when we got home, and mine wasn't one of alcohol or anything like that... but rather one of doubt and questioning. It SOO frustrates me that I have gone these last eight months being built up in the Spirit and knowing the truth, and then as soon as I'm exposed to the world and culture again, I retreat right back into the doubt and skepticism I struggled with for a long time before coming to Kaleo. Please pray that I would be able to discern what is truth from what are lies of the enemy... that i would yearn for and seek to live in the truth of Christ. Please also pray for Lewis and I... I don't even know what God is doing right now... and I don't want to go into a lot of detail on here, but God is changing our hearts when it comes to being devoted to HIM first...He has created a longing in each of us to be able to lift each other up, being united in prayer, seeking wholeheartedly to see each other find fullness in the Lord... ohh.. it is a good place to be, a new season and a scary season because we don't know what He is preparing our hearts for... but please just pray that our longing for the Kingdom would be deepened... that it would not fade. And pray that we would be faithful in that...in seeking to live by the Spirit, not by our sinful nature. Pray for hope in what God is doing... that we would remember His goodness.
You guys know that I like words... I could go on forever... but I will leave it at that for now. Jesus is so good to us... It is hard to believe that grace isn't too good to be true. But it is... it soooo is. I love you guys so much it makes my heart ache a little.
Oh, and please continue to pray for BRAVERY... I need it... oh, how i need it...
"My God is my Rock, in whom I find protection....my Shield...the strength of my salvation...my Stronghold...my High Tower...my Savior..." 1 Sam 22
PS My postal code on the address sheet is wrong, apparently I got confused and put the camp postal code... it is actually V8K 1J3... not that Saltspring is so big that they wouldn't find me anyway, but still :)
Ellanora the Brave signing out!
I really covet your prayers right now when it comes to discernment and faithfulness. I was thinking yesterday, how you know, we all had struggles and temptations that were waiting for us when we got home, and mine wasn't one of alcohol or anything like that... but rather one of doubt and questioning. It SOO frustrates me that I have gone these last eight months being built up in the Spirit and knowing the truth, and then as soon as I'm exposed to the world and culture again, I retreat right back into the doubt and skepticism I struggled with for a long time before coming to Kaleo. Please pray that I would be able to discern what is truth from what are lies of the enemy... that i would yearn for and seek to live in the truth of Christ. Please also pray for Lewis and I... I don't even know what God is doing right now... and I don't want to go into a lot of detail on here, but God is changing our hearts when it comes to being devoted to HIM first...He has created a longing in each of us to be able to lift each other up, being united in prayer, seeking wholeheartedly to see each other find fullness in the Lord... ohh.. it is a good place to be, a new season and a scary season because we don't know what He is preparing our hearts for... but please just pray that our longing for the Kingdom would be deepened... that it would not fade. And pray that we would be faithful in that...in seeking to live by the Spirit, not by our sinful nature. Pray for hope in what God is doing... that we would remember His goodness.
You guys know that I like words... I could go on forever... but I will leave it at that for now. Jesus is so good to us... It is hard to believe that grace isn't too good to be true. But it is... it soooo is. I love you guys so much it makes my heart ache a little.
Oh, and please continue to pray for BRAVERY... I need it... oh, how i need it...
"My God is my Rock, in whom I find protection....my Shield...the strength of my salvation...my Stronghold...my High Tower...my Savior..." 1 Sam 22
PS My postal code on the address sheet is wrong, apparently I got confused and put the camp postal code... it is actually V8K 1J3... not that Saltspring is so big that they wouldn't find me anyway, but still :)
Ellanora the Brave signing out!
posted by Ellie at 8:43 PM
2 Comments:
ellie i totally know what you mean, of being drawn back into the same temptations and sin as before kaleo. it's hard girl! I'm praying for you, keep it up alright?
I am praying for you Ellie! You remind me a bit of Gideon, how you see a vast world before you that is so godless and seems like there is no hope in sight. But there is a stark difference between you and Gideon. You seek God to give you bravery. Gideon hid from it. God will do amazing things through you, his mighty warrior.
Take joy sister in what you have learned over these 8 months. And most of all, remember that I love to taste test smoothies :) See you in Advance Crew!
Jordan
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